Monday, May 7, 2012

Letter jackets: emulating American douchery

If I said “American college jocks” in relation to fashion, what instantly comes to mind? Letter jackets.

Growing up reading Sweet Valley High and watching BH 90210 meant one thing. Letter jacket envy. It was a symbol of elitist clique culture. Popular girls got to wear there boyfriend’s letter jacket on the sidelines of football games – social branding at its best! I didn’t even know what those letters meant but boy did I want one. And the boy to go with it.

This Chilean boy that a friend and I stalked throughout the course of his exchange at high school wore one. I don’t even know if they have them in Chile, but it was exotic. It made him so much more alien to our little world. He was already hot, but I recall it adding to the hotness in a way that will never be explained but in the minds of 14-year-old girls.

Even a badass like Danny Zuko was willing to go from leather to letter for his Sandra Dee. Luckily she went all big-hair-plether-pants on him in the nick of time. Because it made him look like a total plonker. But I digress.

Dude, you didn't even finish high school.
Letter jackets have once again made it into the New Zealand fashion forum. I still believe the attraction is that we just don’t get them over here, so it is therefore exotic and ‘cool’. They aren’t flattering in any way – generally oversized and rigid – much like the dicks that inevitably wear them.

And what do you wear them with? I’m concerned.

I’m concerned doubly about the fact that they are appearing on both women’s and men’s racks at the same time. (For men also are baseball jackets. Do we even have baseball over here?) So now we can all be little Yank clones walking around in the same jackets, male and female alike.

So what’s up with the American invasion? Don’t we [I] think [90% of] those guys are complete idiots? Do we really want to emulate jock culture that’s so far removed from our world down under? Maybe we should also start wearing matching rings, funny hats, and take to paddling blindfolded and trembling first-years on their undeserving behinds at orientation. Let’s add in some big hair and ridiculously white teeth just for fun. The secret society of Americlones. Except that it’s completely overt. Because we all know American’s have a zero-tolerance policy on subtlety. Just as I clearly have zero tolerance of cultural stereotyping.

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