Thursday, February 16, 2012

bug bag

I’ve put this post off for about two years because I felt that the topic was beneath even the lowliest of fashion blogs. Being such an impractical trend, I believed it would go away on its own and I wouldn’t have to get antsy on the street and then antsier online about it. But it hasn’t. And two years on, people are still misusing the Country Road bag.
You know the ones. They’re big and floppy and canvas. They’re clearly designed to be overnight bags or gym bags. To be filled with shoes and clothing and held by the handles. It’s essentially an expensive duffel bag, but I’m forever seeing stupid people using them as handbags – as if it isn’t hard enough to find shit in your bag without having 100 litres of it to scrounge around in. Or stupid girls using them as school bags – where their books and pencils have gravitated to either end of the shoulder-slung sack, looking like a sad deflated bean emblazoned with an overpriced logo. And you know their parents have bought it for them, because that shop is waaay out of high school pocket money league. It’s just about out of upwardly mobile 20-something league.

What parent would buy something so ridiculously miscast?

What self-respecting fashionista would want such an oversized piece of baggage without it at least being a) in any way attractive or b) filled with handy pockets to store things like lipstick and cell phones?

The bag is one of the most practical of all fashion accessories. It’s sacrilege to utilise good space in such an obvious way. When you take your big handbag to work, is it to make some unworthy fashion statement? No, it’s because you want to take an extra pair of shoes, a cardy, your lunch, wallet, keys, phone, ipod, a book and half the contents of your makeup bag to work with you.

And as an aside, what bothers me even more are the ladies I see walking to work with a miniscule handbag, clearly the type that you take to town with only the four essential items inside, and then they’re holding on to another carry bag with all the crap they couldn’t fit in the first one! Even worse: if they’re wearing a back pack and still gripping the handle of their perversely small bag. It’s one or the other people! Back packs are also able to fit your wallet and phone and your tiny purse isn’t so great that you need to display it in conjunction with carting your parka or other pack-neccesary item

Fashion accessories like hand bags are fit for purpose people! That’s why you need to own several of them for varying occasions! Old biggie comes with me every weekday to work, and no one has to know that I’ve brought my lunch to work in a Jimbo’s cat food container or that I made a purchase from Valley Girl on my break. At the weekend, the essential four get swapped over into something smaller and shinier.

Take a moment to think about form and function. The sad grey bean has neither of these things if you’re using it as a handbag. Fill it with clothing and it’s instantly transformed into the healthy (although still grey) puff-chested pod it so longs to be.

Make a bag happy ladies.

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