Monday, December 6, 2010

awkward moments

I’m so very looking forward to my holidays. This is mostly due to the fact that I will no longer have to repeatedly smile and say hello to people I do not ever converse with in any other manner. I am especially looking forward to people not talking to me in the toilet. What is it about being in a confined space with someone that makes it seem appropriate to make small talk? It’s awkward enough that people you barely know can hear you pee, why do they feel it’s necessary to chat to me.


I generally try to enter the bathroom when I know no one else is in there, and if someone is sneakily in the stall when I do get in there, I wait quietly, sometimes using the guise of blowing my nose or pulling the toilet roll until they depart and I can do my business unaccompanied. But then there are those who insist on asking me how I am or commenting on what it’s like outside.

My interest in such banal niceties is about as lukewarm as the inevitable pee that follows.

Imagine going home and having this happen! I would hate to think that someone would stand outside the bathroom while I go about my business and talk to me. I would tell them to piss off fairly promptly – so why would anyone else find this to be appropriate behaviour. There’s plenty of time to come and chat to me if you actually care to. Eight hours of it. I welcome any distraction from actual work!

Ok, so it’s polite to say hello to people when you pass them in the hall. I get it. I take part in such formalities because that’s what you have to do if you want to be friendly and polite. Participation in office etiquette is an obligation more than an option – especially if you want to get anywhere with the higher ups.

Just don’t oblige me in the bathroom.

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