Sunday, September 19, 2010

just plain wrong

So me and Haze spend so much time following celebrities, rockstars and fashionistas that sometimes we forget about the everyday people.

Upon my sunny afternoon walk this Saturday I saw the following:

Call me a stalker but I just HAD to get a snap for Debris. 

I'm all for lace, but seriously?? *shakes head in disbelief*

That is all

Friday, September 17, 2010


I so envy people that can wear glasses and make them look fab. I, as a spectacle wearer, find it hard to go out wearing mine without feeling self conscious. You’d think after more than 10 years having to wear the things and $600 spent on D&G frames I’d feel comfortable being bespectacled. But it’s quite the opposite.
Friends of mine with perfect eyesight have often “dreamed” of being able to wear glasses and I’ll be damned if they don’t suit them too. Do they not realise the immense pain-in-the-assery of having to wear glasses if you actually have poor eyesight? How insensitive!

Magazines and optician posters make wearing glasses look sexy and intelligent (and despite what my lovely bf says, as a big endorser of me wearing my glasses) it just doesn’t do it for me. Sometimes I feel like a less attractive person just because my eyes are tired and I don’t want to wear my contacts one day.

It was even worse working in a bar. I actually called in sick one day because I had bung eye and would have had to wear my glasses to work. I know bartenders both male and female who wear glasses all the time, but it wasn’t for me. My boss was pretty concerned with his bartenders looking good so he’d never seen me wearing my glasses for over two years. One random day I saw him in the supermarket car park and he yelled at me from his car “nice glasses four eyes”. What a great guy.

Is it the same for guys? Or do they just always look smart and sexy, like the glossies would have you believe. I always think guys that wear (trendy) glasses look good but it’s different for women. Maybe if you’re perfectly preened: silky hair, flawless skin, expensive clothes – you can pull it off with an air of confidence. But who actually looks like that?!

The problem with designer glasses is that they are a) expensive and b) change with fashion. Not as quickly as any other clothing or accessory trend by any means, but they a good pair of frames will set you back more than your average attire. These are investment pieces (much like a certain pair of boots – but more on that later!)

As advised for most things we talk about on Debris, it’s important to buy something that suits your face and makes you feel good about wearing them. Having something chic or retro might look good in theory, but if you feel like a mong wearing them it will show through. Other people will think you look like a mong.

Maybe it is a case of confidence. It seems like an overly simple solution – and one I haven’t quite mastered yet – but when you exude a confident energy, people are likely to think you somehow deserve it and respect it.

I wonder what would happen if I wore my contacts and empty frames? Having the confidence of perfect vision might allow me to wear glasses with the attitude that they require.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

for your enjoyment

As a prelude to an upcoming post, please enjoy this link: a musical representation of what happens to those who move to London and inexplicably transform into dickheads.

Being a dickhead's cool

Note the 20/20 vision remark.

Thanks to the informant who passed this on, not only was it hilarious, but too accurate not to share!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

commencing stealth mode

1. Flying Without Wings - Westlife
2. Confessions of a Broken Heart - Lindsay Lohan
3. Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O'Connor

Not exactly the trendiest songs around are they? You'd only ever catch me listening to these....well never because they are that thing we all have. Guilty Pleasures. Unless you're a ninja, these types of songs will never be exposed because they're locked in a cemented vault inside my iMac. Only to emerge when NOONE is around to hear me singing my heart out.

Everyone's got guilty pleasure songs. But what I've realised recently is that I seem to be accumulating a fairly decent sized list of guilty pleasure fashion items...

I'm talking about those off-centre items you see around, where your brain goes "whaaat, pffft who'd ever wear those!". The more you see them though, the more you think you might actually want them. But its too late, you already dissed them! Don't want to be a hypocrite now do we.

A prime example is the grunge boot that has been gracing our stores of late. When Debris first blogged about "Dirty Boots", I scoffed. SCOFFED! HA! What ridiculous things be these making pretty girls clod hop around our streets? But now I have started to covet them... God knows when I'd wear them but oh they just look so trendy. I actually tried a pair on, and decided I didn't like them. Now I'm actually wondering if I just told myself that because I was too scared to admit I owned some.

As far as guilty pleasures go, the boots were done fairly publicly. But there are other things which have floated in and out of my peripheral vision which I only dare to look at with full stealth mode activated.

There's those crazy bright skinny jeans which you see in the shops and head straight past. Well guess what. I actually wouldn't mind owning a pair of bright purple pants! AAAAND. Guess what even more? I even think these tartan pants are cool!

This week I pulled my ninja gear on and sneakied out on my lunch break. Well I came back with a skirt which I keep intending to wear but to be honest I'm anxious as to how it's gonna go down... Not sure if a black tutu-esque skirt is all that cool :/

I usually end up staring at my guilty pleasures for a few weeks and buying some kind of watered down version. It makes me feel better without looking entirely ridiculous. We all know that the best songs for stealth mode are the ones which made it big for five seconds. Well I guess the same is true for fashion guilty pleasures... in a few months all the aforementioned items will be slumming it on TradeMe - just waiting to enter someone else cemented vault of sneakiness.

Friday, September 10, 2010

profile poser

Because my constant efforts to be slimmer are rarely met with results, I found myself researching poses and angles in photographs which give the illusion of being smaller than you are. A desperate attempt to blur reality with the tangible images that these days hold our memories – usually on facebook (or your preferred social network).

It made me realise just how sad I was. And I share my sadness with you.

I have the (recently initiated) eternal dilemma of loving photos. A commonly announced pissed comment from me will be “let’s take a picture!” – excitably high-pitched of course. That’s not so recently discovered, you might think, everyone likes photos and no one wants to be (exposed as) a poser, but these days what else do you do with your photos but announce them to the world on the internet?

I have shelves and shelves of photo albums and cases of photos which didn’t quite make the grade but I still want to keep. But with the rise of digital capture there are very little “display” opportunities available to you. You can keep them on your hard drive – often never to be looked at again. You send a couple to the relevant occupants of the image, but they’re probably going to do the same thing – if not delete them with the email. Or you add them to facebook and share them with your “friends”. [Read: mostly vague acquaintances who you want to think you have an exciting life which is better than theirs.]
Photos on facebook fall into one of 5 categories

1. Check me out bitches, I’m on holiday getting a tan/shopping/eating out and generally having a way more awesome time than you are at work. Ha!

2. I’m sporty, watch links of me doing rad jumps on my bmx/snowboard/skateboard while you play on the internet like a fat bastard. My profile pic will be something outdoorsy as well, just so you don’t forget it.

3. I’m pissed and having a wicked time doing it. I’m popular, as you can see by the 500 other pictures of me getting wasted and generally making a spectacle of myself. I take my camera into town to get a new profile pic.

4. This is me looking hot. I like to show these pictures because I don’t usually look this good, only at weddings, graduation or before going to town and messing myself up*. (*“This is how I appear in my mind all night, even though I’m probably a mess half an hour later”)

5. This is my child. I’ll probably set it as my profile pic because my child defines me now that I’m tied down and can’t get out to do any of the funner things above.

My photos tend to fall into categories 1, 3 and 4. Mostly because a) I don’t have a child and b) I don’t do that much sporty shit. My sporty pics would consist of me at the gym, which would be creepy for all concerned, or me walking somewhere on my way to getting pissed. My child consists of my cat, of which there are numerous pictures on facebook because he’s a legend cat and is much more interesting that a child. To me.
So the dilemma goes: too many pictures in one category (especially 3) makes you a little bit sad, right? But my love of taking photos, especially when incensed to do so after a few drinks, provides me with a plethora of such pictures clogging up my hard drive. So you have to choose your captured memories carefully and with restraint.

It’s no longer a case of “mirror mirror” to know who’s the fairest (or vainest) of us all. Anything on the camera that has me on a bad angle, me looking seedy, or me with make-up fail are automatically gone. Don’t even make it to the computer, let alone the world via the internet. Profiles are made up of the crème de la crème of our self-loving selves. And so we are left with augmented imagery of our lives. Only wanting to remember and share the edited versions of ourselves.

Just wait til I get Photoshop at home. Fuck learning to pose – you’ll never see the real me again.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

plaid and simple

If plaid flannel shirts scream farmer to you, think again. If it says 90s-grunge-reemergance you’re on the right track. If it says “get on the train Hazel, I already stocked up last season”, you’re already at the station.

It’s a bit of a recurring theme from last year’s winter season. This is not your down-on-the-farm Swanny or I-just-emerged-from-under-a-car-in-Boganville type, but the I-live-in-the-city-and-this-is-about-as-grungy-as-I-get fashion plaid.

I rather enjoy them myself. How long ago was it that the return of grunge was predicted on this very blog? Not so long as I recall. But I’m sure everyone saw it coming, the 80s could only make a resurgence for so long. It’s 2010 no people, the 20-year cycle suggests that our base fashion should move with the times.

What I love about plaid is the comfort it evokes. It reminds me of more innocent times; when it didn’t seem creepy that Luke Perry was a 30-something playing a high school kid and banging teenagers, soft flannel, Kurt Cobain, and the epic grunginess that followed. And as reminiscent as it may be it’s worked itself back into our regular wardrobes.

Of late, we’re seeing the longer shirty-dressy variety (worn over skinny jeans or tights) and tailored at the waist, but you can also get shorter meet-the-waistine tops. The thing is, you can embrace the 90s without actually reverting back. Fashion evolves for a reason! As much as we all love the Fresh Prince, some things are best left in the past – here’s looking at you Ashley Banks circa 1994.

I think plaid and jeans will forever be for the win, although I would advise against just raiding your boyfriend’s wardrobe and wearing it open over a white singlet – as tempting as it may be. And of course the fabrics are much more pleasant these days. As much as snugly flannel reminds me of hugging my dad, “hugging your dad” isn’t the key to a fashion revival.
Lighter fabrics make for less bunching (if it’s tailored) and less hot flushes (if it’s summer), so something cotton and cool is the money. And that’s what you’ll see in the shops. The great thing about a plaid shirt is that it’s a bit of a staple now, so you can get something relatively cheap. As always, Glassons, Wild Pair and surf/skate shops like Amazon are good bets for of-the-moment, reasonably priced fashion. Just because Alexander Mcqueen was the king of plaid, doesn’t mean you have to pay $400 to be part of the fad.

Ha! Rhyming is great.