Being a frequent concert-goer, I often need to find ways to amuse myself while waiting for my beloved Billy-Joe Armstrong or Matt Bellamy to arrive on stage. Enter the OMGWTF spotting game. It’s pretty basic – the first person to spot that idiotic girl in high heels scores the first point. Second point goes to whoever spots the “hound skirt” (hope you don’t mind me borrowing lingo Haze!) This may sound silly but I can assure you there’s at least one at EVERY gig.
Big Day Out 2010 in Auckland was sure to be a breeze at scouting clod-hopping chicks and almost-offensive skirts/dresses – not only did my friend and I score the first two points, we hit the fashion disaster jackpot.
For anyone in their mid to late twenties, you will remember that ever so famous video of Mariah Carey’s, Fantasy. Cast your mind back to those high-wasted denim cut-offs and the loose, baggy sweater. That was oh so cool back in the 1990’s – hell, I wanted to be Mariah Carey. But the times they a-changed and the fashion wheel turned once more.
Apparently someone forgot to tell the youth of 2010.
I thought I had travelled back twenty years; it was a DENIM EXTRAVANGANZA. And don’t be fooled, I’m talking males too. For the first hour or two it was torture not to point and laugh and scream “OMGWTF!”, but gradually I got used to it. Until….
Yes that’s right, some misinformed young lass forgot that having your butt cheeks hanging out the bottom of your shorts was a no-no.
I would like to thank this girl for ruining my time with Ladyhawke – how am I supposed to keep up with “Paris is Burning” when I have bum-galore right in front of me???
Following the horrific butt cheek incident, my clever friend not only spotted someone in heels, but this woman had a pair of flats tied to her backpack. IDIOT.
Other fashion disasters of the day included bikini-tops - thousands of them (I had considered wearing a bikini top under my singlet but then I remembered I have a brain, and some well earned dignity) And how could I forget my wonderful time at the front of the crowd, watching legions of fat girls get pulled out of the crowd (because they’re dehydrated, not because they’re fat) with their goods spilling out all over the show. COVER UP YOUR ‘ASSETS’ PEOPLE.
I know you want to look sexy at concerts – but practicality and comfort should always be a priority. If you’re there for the music you’re most likely to end up a sweaty mess anyway. This doesn’t mean you have to look un-fashionable, just ditch the heels and the ridiculous dresses and opt for some sneakers, shorts and a T-shirt instead. This will not only save you from unwanted mosh-pit ass grabbing, but will save your dignity from going flying out the window.