Saturday, February 6, 2010

Failing Fashion

Mondays are bad.
  1. It means the end to weekend activities (which if you’re me, is pretty much nothing)
  2. I actually have to get up in the AM’s.
  3. CLOTHES – not sure wearing hobo jeans and hoodie would go down well in the office so a Sunday night preparation of outfit is a must. 

The first day of February saw me failing miserably at Monday-ness. Strange fact, I’m one of those people who never needs an alarm. This day however I woke up fifteen minutes late which is VERY bad as my usual morning routine allows me just enough time for getting to work….five minutes late.

So, as I crawl out of bed and attempt to pry my super-glued eyes open, I realise I have not performed my night-before clothing ritual. This may not seem like a big issue but I assure you it is the beginning of a fashion nightmare. It begins with a newly bought summery, leopard print dress from Principles.

Adding to my dilemma, I realise that summer in Wellington has once again abandoned us; not only is it raining but its bloody freezing. Such weather calls for tights and the first pair I happen to find are black, adorned with a criss-cross tartanesque pattern. And of course one can’t leave the house without a trusty cardigan; in my dazed state I tell myself that a cream one will go nicely with the rest of my outfit.

No time for makeup, it’s out the door.

Surprisingly I make it to work only two minutes late. That’s practically early!

However I soon realise that I actually look like a complete idiot and that yes, I have taken an extremely summery dress and mixed it with extremely wintery tights –it’s a bit like wearing a scarf and a bikini. Geometrically patterned tights do not go with leopard print. Leopard print does not go with cream cardi. My face does not go with public consumption. And my biggest pet peeve, my hair is at the end of its two-day wash cycle and looks as though I have immersed my head in a deep fryer.

I find it hard to concentrate on my work when I know how much of a retard I look, or think I look. And I may sound shallow but I pride myself on looking and feeling somewhat lovely when at work. A girl has to have standards! To add to my misery I had a complete shoe crisis - not usually a problem for one who stores four pairs under her desk.

I'm sure there is a way to pull off the summer dress - tights - cardi combo but I sure as hell failed. 

This was not a one-off occasion. I often have days of waking up late with no preparation. Or Wellington does its thing and flicks the weather switch. Either way I just have to suffer and hope no one really notices (my colleagues aren’t exactly flaunting haute couture so I’m mostly safe). 

So, take a little comfort in knowing that us fashion conscience gals aren’t always up to standard and occasionally we fall a bit behind. And don’t worry, I’m not going to give Bob Geldof and his Boomtown Rats anything to write about. 

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