Sunday, January 31, 2010
fashion off track
There were many wins, and I’m glad to say I watched the fashion parade and saw what actually wins in the field. However, predictably there were some horrors of note, which I will of course share with you.
1. Ill-fitting shoes. This girl’s shoes were so wrong for her it looked like she’d borrowed them from a much smaller friend at the last minute and jammed her hideous feets into them without thinking about the consequences to her look or the health of her hoofs. A peep toe shoe is supposed to show the ends of some toes, allude to the toes if you will, but this girl’s toes were all jamming out the end – over the edge of the sole no less – giving the effect of some heinous playdoh spaghetti being squished out of the fisher-price machine. It was not pretty, it affected me greatly, and this is why she gets the number-one fashion crime spot.
2. Wearing the exact same outfit as your friend, even if it’s in a different colour. I know it’s hard when you young ladies can only afford so much and you don’t want to stray too far from the herd, but if you’re going out with someone, possibly do each other the courtesy of calling up the night before and checking on what you plan to wear.
3. Fake tan applied too soon before the event. In the heat, people sweat - this we can predict. I don’t know if this woman would ever know of her crime because the worst affected area was behind her knees. She’d obviously been sitting down, probably on the train, and her orange legs had a patch of deathly white in a large area behind her knees. I’m guessing she sweated it off after a hasty application. Unpleasant.
4. The double boob. If your breasts are large, think hard about the style and size of your dress. A bit of spillage is ok, but when it becomes double boob, the boob in your dress and then the free ones that come out over the bodice, it’s not ok.
5. This one’s for the guys. I know that for some people the races is not about fashion or horses, but getting on the piss and making an ass of yourself. I can only wish that everyone could be as styley as to know an occasion when you’re attending one and keep your shirts on. Or even wear a shirt! Wifebeater does not equal fashion. Gah! I know it was hot, but fashion is often hard work and we struggle through. I kept my heels on all day – even though there was some pain – so please, keep your shirts on. It’s just good manners.
So, those are my main complaints.