Tuesday, October 20, 2009


If you are what you eat, Lindsay Lohan eats too many oranges. Tan-gerines even, if you want to get punny. As the face of her own fake tan brand, she’s like the antithesis of advertising. Off-put-ising I would like to term it.
The fake tan is something I’ve never embraced. Ok, a couple of times I might have indulged in a little moisturiser with added tan – summer skin in a bottle – but only on my legs! My face gets what it’s given. Thankfully, as a fair-skinned and red-headed person, that doesn’t mean freckle-mania. Somehow I managed to dodge that bullet, despite having the odds against me, and I don’t feel I need to bronze my face to hide the few that are there. I certainly don’t sit out face to the sun without a hat and sunscreen, for fear of the freckle development, but that doesn’t mean resorting to faking it. But I digress.

I love sun-kissed legs in summer, but I’ve yet to graduate from the good old sit-out-in-the-sun method. Every fake tan I have tried makes me look instantly orange. And then it ends. What if I’m wearing a bikini and suddenly orange turns to white when it reaches my tummy?

I hear you out there screaming, “spray tan Hazel!”, “sun beds!”, but it’s not for me. I hear sun beds are pretty bad for you, and I fear that if tan in a bottle can’t get it right, how do I know that a spray tan is going to be any better. (I have overriding visions of that Friends episode where Ross gets a spray tan…) Do they have a shade called “just a bit darker than your usual pasty self”? Because that’s what I need.

Fake tan seems to be suitable for the people who are already naturally inclined to get a bit darker in summer (but are clearly too lazy to put in the hard yards in a deck chair). Otherwise what you end up with is a hue that’s so different to your normal skin tone it’s blatantly unnatural.
It’s another one of those “if you’re gonna do it do it right” situations. And I guess my point here is: would you buy a fake tan endorsed by a person who looks like this?

Saturday, October 17, 2009

The fashionator

Fascinators are everywhere I look at the moment, but I wonder, apart from the races, are people actually wearing these things around?

They're gorgeous, don't get me wrong, but where is it appropriate to go around wearing a bunch of feathers and other crap upon your head? Maybe the stores are just stocking up for race season - spring is upon is - although at that nasty rain stage at the mo - but I can't imagine making it a metre down a Wellington street without the thing flying off into the distance. Lucky they hold the races out in the burbs where the weather is more temperate. (Although the train ride out there almost nulifies that small joy out of the equation.)

I must admit I recently purchased a headband with a little bit more on it than usual. Some sparkly leaves to make my melon shine, but already someone made a race-day comment, and it's only very minor compared with some of the befeathered monstrosities I've seen elsewhere. I'm seeing all too many on the shelves, but none upon heads. When I do see someone making the mistake of wearing one into town, I'll be sure to point and laugh, so you all know what not to look like.

Just because they are in the shops, doesn't mean you have to wear them. I'm glad to see places like Farmers have made them more available for the average lady going to race day this year. Otherwise it's DIY for el cheapos like me that can't afford to go to the milliner.

There are some lovely ones around and celebs seem to be embracing the look aswell. From goth/glam over-the-eyes black ribbon and lace to subtle feathers or sequins there's something to suit your style. So if you're going to do it, make sure it's in line with your event and evening wear. Subtle feathers that wrap around the head rather than stick straight up is a good way to experiment with the look, add a bit of glam and fascination. Just don't go all mother of the bride on us!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Cat’s Meow!

As summer heats up (figuratively at this point, considering the last few miserable days) we can all start to bring our colourful, floral and patterned dresses out of the closet! Hooray! Standard Wellington winter black be gone! Although I must say, I made a concerted effort to add a bit of colour to my winter wardrobe this year.

An emerging theme is animal print. It’s been developing for a while, but seems to be more mainstream at this point, and I love it! It’s sexy and fun, but like most good things, risks being overdone.

I’ve invested in a few essential pieces, which, despite their similar animalistic characteristic, will never be seen together. (Unless they’re hanging out in my wardrobe.) Animal prints are great, but there’s a limit. I’m all for the one-piece-at-a-time take on the look. One essential accessory or garment per outfit can turn drab to fab, but don’t put them on together.

You might be thinking well duh haze, of course I’m not going to mix two leopard print pieces into one look, but you’d be surprised at how easily people can get it wrong. (Yes I saw you, girl on Lambton the other day. Don’t think I didn’t notice that leopard-print scarf over your zebra tunic/dress! It was like Picasso hit the zoo… and my fashion-sensitive eyes cursed you for it!)

Most of my wild prints are on accessories – scarves for the most part – but I intend to welcome a sweet pair of printed pumps into my newly organised shoe farm as well. I do have a printed skirt, and a top, but they are strictly to be worn with black or white opposites (tops or bottoms) and will never meet their catty counterparts upon the body.

Unlike some outfits, where I like to match my top with the same colour tights, or my tights with the same colour scarf, mixing up animal prints is a big no-no. Make it the feature of an otherwise simple outfit, and it’s the cat’s meow! Otherwise, it goes a bit cougar-Attack!

And no-one wants that.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

friday fashion dilemmas

Don't you hate it when you make the decision to dress down or dress casually when you're going out and then when you get to where you're going everyone else is glammed up?

I find it most confusing, especially on friday nights. I like to save my fabulous clothes (and bothering to apply more than just eye make-up) for saturdays. It's hard to know when to turn up somewhere looking fancy. When deciding what to wear out, you pose a risk of looking too fancy or too casual, so which is the biggest fashion faux pas?

If the night's starting out as, say, a bbq, you don't want to dress up too much, but then what if you end up going out later in the night? I always envy the hosts! They have all the options of being casual and comfy until the situation requires glamming, and then it's a simple case of running off and quickly changing their outfit (and usually a drunken application of make-up, which can catch even the make-up pros out!).

I'm the "sensible" kind of goer-outer who sneaks a pair of heels in my oversized handbag for those just-in-case times! Is that crazy? I also try to remember at least the most basic of make-up, so if the moment comes, I'm not heading into town looking like I just got off the couch.

I tend to be a dresser-downer if I'm just going round to someone's house for drinks. I think I'd rather wear my beloved skinny jeans and a nice top than turn up in a dress. You've all seen those people. Especially those new-to-the-group friends who aren't sure what the standard dress code is and turn up dressed to impress. It usually has the opposite effect. You tend to laugh quietly about the girl in the sparkly dress standing around drinking in someones kitchen. Fashion fail.

Who is the biggest offender here? Unfortunately my friday nights don't consist of celebrity charity events, so maybe this isn't the best example!

The general concensus on other fashion sites seems to be that over-dressing is the way to go. I don't know if it's because they're American and I'm in NZ, but I think I'd rather dress down. Go the jeans. And my just-in-case heels in handbag :-)

I'm writing this as I start to think about what I'm going to wear out tonight. You know what is really easy to dress up or down with the addition of heels??? JEGGINGS!!! now, to go with black or blue demin...

Thursday, October 1, 2009

the long and short of it

Are short-shorts appropriate to wear to work? The shorties-over-tights look seems like it could be professional to me, but I never go there in fear of what the “older” people at work might think. In my own time I’ve been doing the shorts over tights thing for a couple of years now. It’s funky and versatile, keeps your legs warm in winter, and hides any between-shaving-day legs in spring!

I certainly wouldn’t try and pull off short-shorts at work without the tights. There’s something about that leg coverage that makes all the difference. It’s the same with short skirts. I wear some fairly short skirts to the office – I much prefer short skirts to the more professional knee-length ones – they just look better on me. But for the sake of professionalism I wear the tights.

What is it about that semi-transparent, skin-tight netting that makes tights so much more acceptable than bare skin? Especially when I’m seeing fish-net stockings around the office these days. Where is the line and how do we avoid crossing it?

Obviously with the shorts, I’m not talking about fluro hot pants or boardies/beach shorts. There are some really nice ones available these days, particularly in tweed, black and greys. They’re in the same shops I buy my other office-wear from – so why is it such a grey area?

What is it about shorts that says casual over professional?

I still don’t know. But I welcome your thoughts. For now I’ll stick to my just-as-short-as-short-shorts skirts and wait ‘til someone else successfully pulls it off!